University societies can be the best and most fun part of being a student. You will meet some of your best friends whilst simultaneously realizing that some of those infamous stereotypes your older siblings warned you about are completely true. Fear not, however, as we have compiled a nifty guide to welcome you into the world of extra-curricular activity.
The political activist
“Free Palestine”, “End Fracking”, “Tories go home” are all guaranteed phrases to emerge from the mouth of this freedom fighter at some point throughout the year. Laced with political badges and a licence to protest, this Owen Jones fanatic will not stop until justice has been served. They will of course spend more time lobbying for society members to recycle their ‘meeting agenda’ slips than actually contacting any local MPs, fobbing their lack of progress off as ‘all part of the class struggle’. Do not AT ANY COST get into a debate about Iraq, the NHS, or Trump unless you have a spare six hours to aimlessly nod at their nonsensical stream of political consciousness.
The Rugby Lad
The Rugby Lad is everything you’d expect from the most testosterone-fuelled man vs muscle sport on offer. “Yes lads!”, “See it off” and “Absolute quality” are phrases that they will utilise at every social from September until the end of time. He will break your heart and (maybe) your nose but he’ll sure as hell show you a good time.
The hopeless do-gooder
The really, really want to save the world. They’ll plague your Facebook timeline with JustGiving links and charity fundraisers until you eventually give in, don your penguin onesie and bucket full of change, taking to the streets in the name of justice.. Despite all this, you somehow you just can’t hate them because they mean so well.
The Anna Wintour
At any student media outlet there will always be that one student journalist who is a bit too big for their boots. With thick-framed specs and notebook in hand, they’re so frosty you expect them to don a Jon Snow-esque cape and announce that ‘Winter is Coming’. You’ll work fearlessly hard to please them but will always feel like you’ve fallen slightly short as they purse their lips whilst reading your review of the drama society’s latest production. Although you live in perpetual fear that they will one day snap and set the entire media office ablaze, you respect their ability to rule with an iron fist as, ultimately, they are the only person capable of getting anything done on time.
You’ll meet them at the first social and bond over your love of pints and Gemma Collins memes. You agree to meet them at the next events, but forty minutes prior they pull out due to ‘fatigue’. Then? Nothing. Ever. Again. They disappear, never to be seen again, and after a few half-hearted messages trying to arrange a catch up you start to wonder if they ever existed. One day you’ll pass them in the aisle of Sainsbury’s and desperately avoid each other’s gaze before sprinting away and hiding behind the reduced ciabattas.
The dodgy DJ
Most commonly found prowling around the student radio station promoting basement parties this ‘musical genius’ is less like Flume and more Pat Sharp. They’ll insist that House died in the 90s whilst continuing to pioneer their own mix of off-key electronics and sick beats as the ‘music of the future’. Only ever seen in a bucket hat with rolled cig in hand you wonder if they realise the irony that their ‘edgy’ attire makes them look exactly the same as everyone else.
The netball girl
She’s fun, she’s flirty, she’s fearlessly competitive. Think Regina George meets Bring It On and you’ll start to wrap your head around this beacon of all that is sport.
The one who knows everyone
You met them at your course social and were instantly attracted to their warmth and charm. They always check in to see how you are and remember personal details about you that make it seem as though they genuinely care. One day you’ll walk to the bus stop with them and be bombarded by a stream of people they know, having to stop and chat to every passer-by they somehow know from halls/lectures/that one time they struck a conversation at the bus stop. You marvel at their ability to spread their ever-expanding social butterfly wings and wonder how on earth they have the time or energy to keep up with so many friends.
The one who hates everyone
Why this person decided to join a society you may never know as neither they (nor anyone they know) wants them to be there. They ferociously complain at the smallest of requests to help out with any society events, yet religiously turn up to every single one. One time they’ll get really drunk and strike up a decent conversation with you, only to immediately return to their reclusive ways at the next general meeting.