An epidemic is sweeping the halls of universities around the globe. It can’t be found on street corners or behind the counters of an off-license, no, this demon is far more cunning. It spreads like a virus in every home around the world with an internet connection like a plague, destroying students productivity more than the local pub. What is this destructive addiction I’m speaking of may you ask?
Memes. Lots of them.
If you think that you, or someone you love has a meme addiction, I urge you to read these warning signs to get a full diagnosis.
The symptoms of someone with a meme addiction are as follows…
1.) They hide their habit from your friends and family
If you’ve got nothing to hide, then you’ve got nothing to worry about, as the old saying goes. A password block on someone’s phone or quickly opening the google homepage when someone enters the room are both signs of addiction. You may find the addict displaying anger when asked what they were just looking at. It’s hard to accept it, but someone in your household could be hiding a database of dank memes. Which brings us on to the next symptom.
2.) They have a database of dank memes
Have you ever been in a group chat and there’s that one guy that seems to have a relevant image for every topic? This is the standard behaviour of a hard meme user. They’ll store their memes in a folder, normally on their phone and be able to get their fix at a moment’s notice.
Case Study: Jane – Sheffield University
“I never thought my boyfriend would be a user. That was until I found a hidden folder on his laptop overflowing with memes, each more dank than the next. When I asked him about it he just replied ‘Oh Shit Waddup’.”
3.) They somehow manage to fit the word ‘dank’ into a sentence
Again, hallmark behaviour of user. Be on the watch.
4.) They quote memes in real life
A good test for this symptom is to buy a new pair of shoes that you know, look pretty horrid. Approach the suspected user and gauge their reaction. If they react with anything other than “What are those!” then you may be in the safe area. Likewise, if they do scream “What are those!” then I’d recommend getting them sectioned immediately. This is one of the darker stages of the addiction that can take years to recover from.
5.) They never get anything done
Memes drain you of your life energy and thrive of procrastination. If you find someone constantly forgetting to do things and putting off tasks until the last minute, then they may be ingesting memes when you’re not looking.
6.) Be on the watch!
A meme addict can be anyone. They can be anywhere. It’s important you know how to look out for one, so you can get them help immediately. I know this because I’ve had a bit of a dark past with memes myself. Hover, I’m fully reformed now and will never go back to that destructive lifestyle. These days I live a pretty dank life (cool story bro). Without memes in my life I get so much more stuff done. Unlike a meme addict I actually finish everything that I st
The writer of this article sadly passed away upon publishing. High levels of dankness were found in his blood. He is suspected to have overdose on ‘primitive Spongebob memes’.
He left no suicide note, just this image next to his lifeless body.
By Thom Anderson