If anyone ever told you a Humanities degree was the equivalent of throwing £9,000 down the drain, prepare to make them mince their words. Whilst you might think that analysing the causes behind Queen Elizabeth I’s jacket choices (yup, yup, actually been there) is a waste of your time, at least it’s not as bad as these courses on offer…
Baking Technology Management- London Southbank University
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Bake Off as much as the next person. Enough to study it at a degree level? Fuck. No. We’re talking £9k, £9k, to look at the ins and outs of artisan chocolate making. Seriously? One word for you babe- Cadburys.
Dairy Herd Management – Reaseheath College.
I used to work on a kids summer camp and let me tell you this might have come in useful then. In every other aspect of life? Not so much. Call me crazy, but I thought Shepherding was something you just passed down the generations like folklore or hereditary diseases. Well, apparently, it’s a university course so ya’ll best sign up for the job centre now because I’m not sure the ‘dairy herd’ sector is particularly lucrative for post-grad schemes.
Brewing and Distilling- Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh.
Naturally, the one course being offered in what is essentially ‘alcohol studies’ is in Scotland. A four-year degree (yes, four years) is on offer, promising to teach techniques on ‘the processes involved from cereal farming to bottling and packaging’. Famous alumni include Al Murray and Duff Man.
Yacht Operations – South Devon College.
Have you ever heard a course more Southern and, well, Devon? Surprisingly, entry requirements don’t include access to one of Mummy and Daddy’s twenty yachts in the South of France. Although, a private school education and entire wardrobe of tweed are encouraged.
Masters in Stand-Up Comedy- University of Kent.
I can’t help but feel that if you have to study how to be funny, you’re doing it wrong. The Uni of Kent seem to disagree, as for just £7,300 you can learn the art of ‘Comic Performance’ and ‘Cognition and Kinesthetics’ aka how to move.
Bagpiping – Carnegie Mellon.
Modules include ‘how to deafen your friends’ and ‘the art of annoying everyone around you’.
Puppetry – Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, University of London.
Who needs friends when you have puppets?! The perfect degree for anyone suffering from an existential crisis, this course teaches you everything you need to know to make it into the cast of the Muppets. Just why.
Viking Studies- The University of Nottingham.
Dungeons and Dragons fan? Wish you could live out life a la Game of Thrones? Fear not, for the University of Nottingham (who until I discovered they offered this degree, I thought were meant to be good) offer a course on how to be lame Vikings. You do you, Nottingham. You do you.
And the best from our pals across the pond….
The Art of Walking – Center Colleges, Kentucky.
Now this I can do. This course knows no bounds, expanding its strolling sights from North America right over to Europe. Who knew.
Underwater basket weaving- Reed College
As if basket weaving needed to be made less accessible and more pointless, Reed College have decided to take the whole endeavour underwater. If you’re thinking, ‘Surely, we don’t need underwater baskets as things just float…’ then you’re WRONG as Reed College are prepared to let you go full blown- Ursula and waste your life, sorry, learn the art of making a wooden trolley for the sea. Reed College, you ok hun?
So, next time your ‘rents question the employability of a degree in Philosophy and Ethics just link them this bad boy to read and weep.