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Everything you experience living in a student house

Everything you experience living in a student house
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You hear every single noise

Seriously, with the walls in student houses, you hear everything single sneeze, cough, and hushed conversation.

It eventually gets to the point where everybody knows your secrets.

Your landlord tends to pop in at the worst moments

When you’re in the shower, when the house is a complete tip, when everyone is asleep, when everyone is drunk, when everyone is fighting, when everyone is struggling to fix something they broke.

They appear when you could really do without.

Cold showers and mould

You just kind of get to used to it after a while. As for the mould, you get used to that too.

Food stealing and fridge raiding

You see someone moving deftly around the kitchen each day, pretending to be cooking when they are in fact slowly stealing bits of other people’s food, hoping that no one will notice.

People have invested in locks on their cupboards whilst others ensure that all of their food is labelled. You’ve taken to keeping all your nice food in your bedroom out of reach out of everyone.

Television arguments

Someone wants Netflix, you want to watch the Bake Off and someone else wants to re-watch the same film over and over again. TV fights tend to happen every single night as people jostle for the remote which usually goes missing each day.

Pranks

Whether it’s having your bedroom furniture turned completely upside down, chilli’s dropped into your food or the toilet seat being cling filmed, pranks do tend to happen so you’ve become accustomed to just locking your door whenever you leave. Better safe than sorry.

Impromptu BBQs

Whenever it goes anywhere over 20 degrees, it’s down to the local supermarket to get a disposable BBQ and out into the tiny garden to eat some semi-raw burgers.

Cleaning refusal

Rotas are made, yet eventually, people just refuse completely to clean and it can be incredibly frustrating. Passive aggressive notes are usually plastered around all sections of the house yet are largely ignored.

Hoarding

Honestly, there is so much rubbish in your house. From event flyers, fresher’s leaflets or freebies, footballs, rugby balls, odd socks shoved under the sofas, dirty plates and a selection of bikes in the corner. You’ve given up wondering what it all is and you plan to just get rid of it all when everyone leaves.

Coat piles

Nobody takes their coat to their room. There appears to be a big sign on the floor in the front room which says ‘dump coat here’ because mountains the size of Everest arise from the floor made completely out of coats, until you crack and start dumping them outside people’s rooms.

Pre drinks

Even if you’re not the one going out, you still have to listen to pre-drinks as it occurs downstairs, usually creeping to the bathroom every few hours to make sure no one is throwing up in the sink and walking downstairs in the morning for a coffee to encounter hell itself in the form of playing cards, cans and sticky bottles. Thanks.

Elizabeth Whittingham Elizabeth is a history graduate currently working in content and communications.