Takeaway food. It’s expensive, it’s unhealthy and now thanks to this food rating service, we can see exactly just how dirty it is.
The online government initiative allows you to view the hygiene ratings of all your favourite local takeaways and, frankly, the results are pretty scary.
But you have to admit, this probably isn’t news to you. Realistically, if you stopped and thought about it, would you ever say that somewhere with a revolving skewer of meat is going to be the cleanliest of places?
So why do we keep going back? Well obviously it’s the winning combination of vastly overpriced food accompanied by a deep sense of regret in the morning.
Although it would be naive to suggest that fast food is only ever the beautiful, greasy climax to a night out when in reality – takeaway food is an integral part of the university experience.
Got an essay due? Get a takeaway. Just finished an essay? Get a takeaway. Got no money? Stay in and get a takeaway. Loan just came in? Get an even bigger takeaway. There really is no time where chips are not appropriate.
Back in those first intrepid days as a fresher, when you knew your local Deliveroo driver better than your personal tutor, takeaway food was a source of comfort in the sometimes scary world of university.
While the student cookbook you were inevitably sent off to uni with was gathering dust, fast food was there to fill the void of a homecooked meal.
But beyond first year, we really have no excuse other than it tastes GREAT.
Everyone knows that just thinking about a Domino’s is enough to make you instantly gain 10lbs, so the knowledge that there may be just a little bit of dirt inside that stuffed crust probably isn’t going to change anything.
Many people will no doubt be squirming and squealing in disagreement here, but at the end of a long, hard night out as your mates stagger towards the local chippy, it’s unlikely that you’re going to sober up and develop some principles. Especially not in the face of a deliciously hot bag of chips – the only scientifically proven means of preventing a hangover.
True, instead of a hangover you may now be riddled with a tasty mix of salmonella and gastroenteritis, but at that moment in time it was exactly what you needed.
In short, if you’re morbidly curious then use the government’s food rating service to find out exactly what’s going on behind closed doors.
But personally, I will be choosing to stay in blissful, chip-filled ignorance.
Anyone for a Chinese?