Oh Tinder, how you’ve changed the game. Gone are the days of romance, serenading, the thrill of the chase. Now it’s all swipe left, duck right… More akin to boxing than a budding relationship, Tinder has made hook-up culture an integral part of any student’s university experience. We spoke to you about the worst experiences you’ve all had on the app and Shit. Got. Weird.
I agreed to meet a girl for a drink and for the majority of the night all seemed to be going well. That is, until we got back to her flat. I say flat with a pinch of salt, as what she actually lived in was the store room of a random halls. She said it was to avoid paying rent, I say it was because she was borderline psychotic. Genius? Crazed? I was unsure, so I took one for the team and stayed the night.
The next day when we woke up she turned to me and revealed, “By the way, when I said I was on the pill last night, I was lying. I’m not.” Needless to say, I was outta there quicker than you can say council tax avoidance. We’ve never spoken since, but to this day I worry that I have an illegitimate store room child somewhere.
Not a bad date per se, but I went on my mates Tinder for a laugh when my boyfriend popped up. His bio said “young, single and looking to mingle”. I screenshotted it and sent it to his mum. Needless to say, we don’t talk anymore.
I was meant to be meeting a guy at the SU bar, but when I arrived I was greeted by him and two of his friends. My original date sat at the opposite end of the table to me whilst I was sandwiched in between his two weird and very short amigos, rapidly losing the will to live. I don’t remember much from that night as I proceeded to drink my way into oblivion, but I do remember that after I told one of lads that I didn’t really fancy shagging a dwarf he called me a “miserable, desperate bitch”. I poured the remainder of my pint on his Calvin Klein jeans and scarpered. Not ideal, to say the least.
I met up with someone who ‘loved walking’ whilst I was wearing very cheap shoes. We walked about seven miles across Glasgow at an alarming pace, stopping just once -at an organic doughnut shop(??) I woke up the next day with blisters, a swollen ankle and no new girlfriend.
I went on a date with a tall Spanish guy and thought I was living the dream. We were having a great time until he turned to me and asked if I knew how to slap someone. Confused (and quite drunk) I said no, I did not. He then raised his hand and slapped me square across the face exclaiming “This is how!”. I was in complete shock whilst he insisted it was a joke he had taken too far. I made my excuses and ran for my life. Never again.
I decided it was time to spice up my dating life and took to Tinder in search of an older woman. One lady looked pretty fit and was 30, so not too much older than me (I’m 23). I took the leap and swiped right. We matched (result) and arranged to go for a drink. She seemed quite distant the entire evening and was constantly checking her phone- not the illicit cougar romance I had hoped for. After a few more glasses of wine she suddenly announced that she had to leave as the babysitter couldn’t stay past ten. That’s right, babysitter. I soon discovered that my 30-year-old temptress was in fact a 43-year-old mother of two. I’m pretty strict on my age settings now.
I went on a date with a guy who was really nice, really cute- the whole package. Things took a drastic turn for the worse, however, when he started telling me about the time he found a rash on his arse and thought he had herpes. He went into quite a thorough description of the medical procedures he had to go through before the doctors concluded that he actually had shingles. In all fairness, it was quite a funny story but not 100% date appropriate, ya know?
Technically, this one is my bad but still. I was promoting an event I’d organised at uni so I swiped right on everyone and sent them all the same message telling them to come along and bring their mates. I thought it was pretty obviously a generic message, but apparently Tyler, 21, managed to miss that. He walked 40 minutes to the event and turned up (alone), proceeding to message me the entire night asking where I was. I was in the loos, hiding from him.