1) The ‘Usual’ One
Pretty explanatory. Waking up after 4/5 pints and feeling a little worse-for-wear. It’s not a day-changer, but you’re head hurts enough to make you go “urgh” pretty loudly.
Cure: A cup of coffee and a paracetamol
2) The ‘Black Out’ One
You wake up, half dressed, in someone else’s bed. Your head’s throbbing and you have a feeling that you’ve lost your bank card and your phone. What the hell happened last night?
Cure: Get home, cancel your card, claim phone insurance and sulk in bed all day
3) The ‘Needy’ One
“I just want someone to go to the shop and bring me orange juice.” “Make me dinner?!” “Guyyysss I’m soooooo hungover”
Cure: Stop whinging. Like, NOW.
4) The ‘Recluse’ One
You wake up, look at the time, and then roll back over. There’s no way in hell you’re getting out of bed today. In fact, you’ll probably stay there until tommorow morning. Or at least until you have to get the door for your Just Eat order.
Cure: Order takeaway and embrace the wallowing.
5) The ‘Constantly Hungry’ One
You wake up and you’re starving. Even though you devoured a box of cheesy chips just a few hours ago. All that’s on your mind is a box of 20 chicken nuggets.
Cure: Go to McDonalds and buy 20 chicken nuggests
6) The One ‘From Hell’
You’re not leaving the house today. You spend most the time in the bathroom and everything hurts. You are NEVER drinking again…. until tomorrow night.
Cure: Just let it all out.
7) The ‘Quarter-Life-Crisis’ One
For some reason, today is the day when your brain is telling you to analyse everything you’ve ever done in your life. Then you have a major panic attack that you didn’t pay your rent yesterday. Your anxiety just gets more and more throughout the day.
Cure: Take a step back and put on Netflix. You can sort your life out another day when you’re not on a major come down.
8) The ‘I’m Still Drunk’ One
You wake up, stumble around a bit and then find it absolutely hilarious that you forgot to lock your front door last night. It’s a great feeling…. until the hangover kicks in at 5pm and you feel like death warmed up.
Cure: Have a cold shower and drink a pint of water. You may be able to sober up and prevent the hangover – if you’re lucky
9) The ‘Why Don’t I Have a Hangover?” One
We hate you.